Let me preface this post by saying, it’s not fair that guys get the phrase, “That gets my rocks off.” It’s a good phrase, and I’m taking it back on behalf of the ladies.
That being said, this week, our lovely blog leader Mary asked us to write a post explaining our writing process. I’ve written about this topic before on my own blog. Usually my inspiration for my writing comes from real world events, the type of stranger than fiction stories I watch on the news that beg to be fictionalized. Other times, the inspiration comes from my brother, a living, breathing Raymond Carver character. In my short fiction I write a lot about families (because I write things outside of this blog that aren’t about sex, I swear). I like domestic dramas and small moments, I like epiphanies, but not those that feel forced. I like it when things are left unsaid.
Inspiration for this blog is a bit different. Writing about sex is a whole other kind of beast, and usually what gets me writing, what gets my rocks off, so to speak, are experiences. Let me quickly add, not everything I write about is nonfiction (I’m not that busy of a woman, if you know what I mean). The fun part is not telling people what is true and what is not true (unless of course you’re one of my friends and I’ve already shared my story with you over drinks).
A while back, I had a guy ask me if I was going to write about our time together on the PDXX Collective. This was the first time someone had asked me a question like that. I told him I was going to, which flattered him. Before I became the “sex writer,” nobody asked me these types of questions. “Hey Kait, are you going to write about Raymond Carver again?” or “What fairy tale are you working on now?” But once people find out you write about sex, their interest is suddenly piqued.
With “Sexy Thursday,” I can write about sex, sexuality, and anything that falls under that umbrella. This means that I can take whatever inspires me, from an especially memorable encounter to a dirty thought that crossed my mind on the bus, and write about it. At first, I was apprehensive about coming up with weekly posts about sex, but eventually I gave into the idea and found it freeing. Let’s be honest, everybody thinks about sex, and I’d wager people think about it a lot more than they’re willing to admit.
So, here I am, admitting I not only think about it, I write about it. When I’m inspired, I sit down quickly to write it out, and because blog posts usually run less than 1,000 words, it’s easy to get everything out before the writing fever passes. And I refuse to censor myself too much. I don’t expect everybody to agree with what I have to say here or even to like it, but if I worry too much about that, I’ll never write. Alternatively, when my friend Marco read one of my posts a month or so back and said, “Sweet Jesus, that’s dirty with three Rs,” I felt compelled to keep writing Sexy Thursday. Thank you, Marco.
In a way, this is like kiss and tell. But I will make this promise to any men in my future, I’ll always withhold names to protect the innocent, and I’ll only write about the really good or really bad sexual encounters (real or fantasized). So, if you’re mediocre, you have nothing to worry about.