Halloween is my favorite holiday. I have dressed up almost every single year and went trick or treating when I was a senior in high school. I enjoy getting a day to be anything you want to be, however outlandish it may be. Unfortunately, Halloween has been taken over by the porn industry. As Kristen Schaal said on The Daily Show, “Isn’t it great? The fact that women get this one night, only one out of the whole year to be viewed as sexual objects. And we get to choose what kind!”
5 or 6 years ago I went to a costume shop to find that 90% of the costumes were made by Playboy. It’s not just sexy nurse anymore either. Last year I came across the Sexy Banana and Sexy Pizza. Sexy Hamburger.
This year an Arizona State student went as a sexy slut. She went to the party naked.
Now, if this was a bold statement on the ridiculousness of it all, she’s my hero. More likely though, it was merely an opportunity grab to be as libertine as possible. It’s also very difficult to use female anatomy for humor, when we are so often objectified.
Now, I do get it. I’ve had my fair share of sexy costumes. Sexy Cat circa 2002. Madame circa 2004. A friend and I even went as Amazons one year, of which my costume consisted of a furry bra, tanga bottoms, and a loin cloth. I looked HOT. But I also got a lot of creepy attention from a Van Gogh at the party.
Our modern celebration of Halloween plays into a certain biological imperative sexually mature humans have. Sex At Dawn, a book written by evolutionary biology researchers Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jetha, postulates that polyamory is humankind’s natural way of being in relationships. They give examples of native egalitarian cultures that share food, childcare, and sexual partners. They hypothesize that human social links were cemented by these polyamorous parties.
So, Halloween is like our modern version of corn-booze fueled orgies. I get it.
But it’s also a holiday for kids. Really, a holiday for kids, not adults. And I am really annoyed at the imperative society places on women to be hyper sexual. Like I don’t have to deal with this bullshit every other day of the year.
So this year I said, “F YOU MEDIA/PORN INDUSTRY!”