Every mother, every father, every person, judges everyone else. That’s just the way we do. I don’t think that’s necessarily bad. We live in a competitive society and being successful does actually mean that sometimes we see each ourselves in a pretty damn fantastic light and others in a dimmer one. So am I being judgmental here? Yes. Is that a problem. Well, it is and it isn’t, and that’s where my thinking comes in.My neighbor and old friend is homeschooling her children. I think that’s great. As an educator, I completely understand the drive to take students out of potentially subpar education. As a mother, I also understand it. Your children are your charge, and your heart and your soul, and to have them learn at their own pace in their own space is not only reasonable, it’s commendable.
I do believe that when children don’t have basic skills it can become a problem. When they are ten and don’t read, that’s your problem, I suppose, but it is also theirs. And that’s where it is iffy to me. At what point is their self direction actually hurting them?
But I wonder. Is it all a lot simpler than that? Of course I don’t know, but is it possible that my judgment is about the fact that I just miss my friend? The mom I used to stroll with and drink ice coffee is now unable to have a conversation because she is so damn tired all the time. I miss the light that used to spark her.
I do not know what lives underneath other people’s decisions about anything. Certainly not education or parenting. If I feel the kids are safe, but I just don’t get it, then I have to ask myself: is losing my friend something I can live with?
People grow apart for all sorts of reasons. As a friend, I think I have a responsibility to voice my discomfort but not my judgment, which is a hard line to walk.Image by speecchbuddy.com