June, 4 Years Ago

I was looking at an old Moleskine and came across a “2 Line Journal” project I had done for June 2011. It looks like I wrote two sentences each day starting on the 5th, or that was the goal. I was in Maryland helping my family because my father had contracted life-threatening MRSA and was treated in the hospital for over a month.

I saw snapping turtles in the quarry lake at Fountain Rock. My cat is dying.

My cat died. We planted a white azalea on her grave.

I am very afraid of death. I have this guilty, anxious feeling about buried Starburst. The night is cold. I feel like I should bring her in, so she can be warm. It doesn’t feel right to leave her out there like that under the dirt. She hated to get dirty.


I’m cheating a bit. I’m actually writing this the following day.

My cat hated being wet and it feels wrong pouring water over her. Today feels less sad than yesterday.

Went out tonight but couldn’t find anyone to talk to. The Niko-cat is pretty good at communicating what he wants.

I brought my father some rocks that seemed interesting from a walk in Catoctin. I can’t think of any reason why I’m so exhausted today.

6/10 (done the day after)
My mother and I walked around Gambrill State Park looking at the blooming mountain laurels. Kept waking at night.

Waiting for my mother to come home hours after she was supposed to. Reminisced about 80s children’s tv characters with my very pregnant childhood friend.

Why am I so tired and will it mean I can sleep?

We drove around Western MD look its best in summer. Being in the car for a long time is difficult for me.

Anesthesia was used far more often in Civil War surgeries than I expected. Getting sad about Russ leaving tomorrow.

I took Russ to the airport. I bought a really sparkly blue mystic topaz (coated topaz) ring.

Saw a bright yellow duckling among regular ducklings in Baker Pond. [REDACTED]

Feelings of nonspecific guilt. Photographed ducklings and night herons.

My father came home. I’m worried about a cat bite.

My parents were fighting today. I opened a tasty watermelon.

What happened to this day? It was Friday. I was hungover.
(I am hungover)
What was good about that day? I was uncomfortable about Sean and that girl. And didn’t sleep enough. Or at least at the right times.
(Eating delicious chocolate my friend brought back from Europe.)

Saw a high school friend at Jay’s BBQ. Jay’s health is poor.

Woke up with cramp pains. Taking a moment to watch Dr. Who.

I made the same mistake 2X. Night herons are active at night time.

~6/29 Being in the basement alone watching Dr. Who felt surprisingly good.

I’m afraid of coming back to Portland tomorrow. One of my friends won’t say goodbye to me.
My only friend in this town won’t say goodbye to me.
I had nightmares about grad school. I still haven’t registered for classes.
I hardly ever look up in this town. There’s some slightly spooky detailing in some of the buildings.

5 thoughts on “June, 4 Years Ago

  1. I did something similar by writing on scraps of paper, one nice or interesting thing that happened on every day, and put them in a mason jar. Later, after reading them, it was like a glass treasure trove of happy memories for a year. I also really love reading back through my dream journals to see what was on my sleeping mind.


  2. I love peeping back into Moleskins as well. The lines you wrote so long ago (4 years!) still read as vividly as if these things had happened in June 2015. It’s a great practice for a writer.

    Though, I am also uncomfortable about Sean and that girl. . .


    1. I’m not entirely sure what all the things I wrote meant anymore. I think I understand the Sean and that girl thing, but I’m not certain.

      Liked by 1 person

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