Thomas Fucaloro is the author of two books of poetry published by Three Rooms Press, most recently It Starts from the Belly and Blooms, which received rave reviews. The winner of a performance grant from the Staten Island Council of the Arts and the NYC Department of Cultural Affairs, he has been on three national slam teams. He holds an MFA in creative writing from the New School and is a co-founding editor of Great Weather for Media and NYSAI press. He is a writing coordinator at the Harlem Children’s Zone and lives in Staten Island.

Things I Need to do to get into Real Estate

1. Learn how to make scotched eggs
2. Learn to be
3. A prick
4. Yes, a real big prick
5. Take your licensing exam
6. Pass
7. Buy an expensive looking something
to go with some other expensive looking
someone
8. Buy a tie.
9. Learn how to tie a tie
10. Buy a clip on tie
11. Get business cards
12. Give them out
13. Use them for dating
14. A dream home is
every duplex
15. Don’t cum before they sign on the dotted line
16. Get them to sign on the dotted line
17. Cum
18. Give them a scotch egg