My Dearest Doves, Hoorah for another installment in my favorite series, IT’S FEMINISM’S FAULT!!! Any readers with a highly developed sensitivity to baloney might want to skip the following letter (it’s a full-on baloney sandwich!) and jump straight to my reply. Consider yourself bewarned, sweet chickadees! Dear Miss Madame, My aunt is a nightmare […]Read more "Dear Miss Madame : Newsflash!!! Women Were Never Oppressed"
MAMMARY OVERLOAD GETTING YOUR GOAT? Miss Madame Says: lie back and think of Balenciaga! Dear Miss Madame, When I told everybody I was moving to France, people who knew better warned me. They said that French people smell bad, chain smoke, drink shots for breakfast, hate Americans, and like their commercials full of […]Read more "Dear Miss Madame : Boobs on TV"
NICE GIRLS? THEY ORDER CHARDONNAY! And Miss Madame is most definitely a nice girl. Dear Miss Madame, I live in Brest, a town on the western coast of France. My French roommates and I are in our twenties and we go out pretty often, usually to a little cafe/bar down the street that’s […]Read more "Dear Miss Madame : The Lady Drinks!"
TOILET SCARCITY GOT YOU FLUMMOXED? Miss Madame to the rescue–toute de suite. Dear Miss Madame, I’m going to Paris for the second time, after a two-week stay in Bordeaux but before my trip to Ibiza, and what I have noticed about France is the pink toilet paper (fun!) and the lack of facilities […]Read more "Dear Miss Madame : How to Wee In Gay Paris"
HOUSEWORK COERCION? Miss Madame approves! Dear Miss Madame, So, I have this problem that, ah, doesn’t really look like a problem. The deal is this: my boyfriend compliments me too much. How can this ever be a problem, you ask? Am I crazy? Maybe. But here’s the kicker. My man only […]Read more "Dear Miss Madame : Splitting Chores With Your Man? It’s a Dirty Job!"
LOST YOUR VIM FOR SELF-GROOMING? Miss Madame (and your mom-in-law!) helps you get your groove back! Dear Miss Madame, I have a touchy problem. My French mother-in-law simply refuses to stop asking me, “Tu vas te faire jolie?” This translates to, “Are you going to make yourself pretty?” It started the day […]Read more "Dear Miss Madame : Pretty? Yes You CAN!"
THERE’S A HEN COME TO ROOST! Miss Madame to the rescue–toute de suite. Dear Miss Madame, After years of working my way through the ranks, I’ve been appointed coach of a men’s Ligue 2 French football team. In France, I am the first woman, ever, to coach in the men’s professional league. There’s […]Read more "Dear Miss Madame : Exile in Roosterville"
BLINDSIDED BY FOREIGN FEMINAZI BALONEY? Fear not, sugar pop–you’re in good company. Dear Miss Madame, Just yesterday, I read a report published in the Washington Post that ranks European countries based on gender equality—and France was last! Not just second-to-last, but L-A-S-T. (Okay, Italy actually came in last, but with politicians like our […]Read more "Dear Miss Madame : Statistics? Not Scary!"
Please welcome to PDXX our new advice columnist, Miss Madame, an expatriate living in France who in real life goes by the name of Georgia Erwin. FEATHERS IN A RUFFLE OVER FOREIGN HUSBAND’S NAME? Expat expert Miss Madame counters with logic, and we all know who wins. Dear Miss Madame, I am a thirty-year-old American […]Read more "Dear Miss Madame : To Have and Have Not"