OK. I Wanted a Girl

When I was pregnant with my second, I had an eighteen month old son. I loved him with every ounce of my being, of course, and I loved that he was a boy. No real reason, except I didn’t know much about boys before him, and there was something about the discovery that was fascinating and fulfilling. But in […]

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The Cure for Melancholy

Today, my daughter’s Big Girl Bed arrives. Today, I put away the crib that has been in one bedroom or another for six years, the crib I once arranged lovingly, tying little knots into bows and folding soft blankets in preparation. The ends of things have always saddened me. My family still jokes about the […]

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Home School

Every mother, every father, every person, judges everyone else. That’s just the way we do. I don’t think that’s necessarily bad. We live in a competitive society and being successful does actually mean that sometimes we see each ourselves in a pretty damn fantastic light and others in a dimmer one. So am I being […]

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Just Keep Going

“Let everything happen to you Beauty and terror Just keep going No feeling is final” ― Rainer Maria Rilke   There is a thin line between having it all and losing it all.  And it is on that line I balance, and I think we all might balance. We, as mothers, as women, as humans, all […]

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Back in the Day(s)

In the first three weeks, I would wake up (though to say wake up you would think I had been sleeping, when, in fact, I probably had just put my head to the pillow) and my eyes felt like sandpaper. My body ached, and I just felt dirty, no matter how many showers I took, […]

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I Used To Know Me

  I know the curve of my upper lip. It points with just a little bit of lipstick. I know my foot – how its arch is just a little too high for normal heels. I know my hair, it’s thick. My waist, it can get thick too. I know my voice and my knees. […]

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