I’d been meaning to read The Red Tent long before my last post on menstruation positivity, and prompted by a reader, I finally did after the New Year. (Spoiler alerts for those who haven’t read it.) I remember reading about Dinah’s mention in the Old Testament, as part of a university class on militant metaphors […]Read more "Virginity and The Red Tent"
Last weekend, my friend Sharon Harrigan had an essay featured on The Rumpus titled “Stain.” In it, she describes a twisted encounter with a stranger during the innocuous act of walking her dog. At twelve years old, she was old enough to sense that something was off in his manner, his casual and cruel way […]Read more "The Knife Man, the Monster and the Pen Pal"
MAMMARY OVERLOAD GETTING YOUR GOAT? Miss Madame Says: lie back and think of Balenciaga! Dear Miss Madame, When I told everybody I was moving to France, people who knew better warned me. They said that French people smell bad, chain smoke, drink shots for breakfast, hate Americans, and like their commercials full of […]Read more "Dear Miss Madame : Boobs on TV"
TOILET SCARCITY GOT YOU FLUMMOXED? Miss Madame to the rescue–toute de suite. Dear Miss Madame, I’m going to Paris for the second time, after a two-week stay in Bordeaux but before my trip to Ibiza, and what I have noticed about France is the pink toilet paper (fun!) and the lack of facilities […]Read more "Dear Miss Madame : How to Wee In Gay Paris"
When I was eighteen I went to an alcohol-fueled party with some school friends, and I kissed and made out with someone for the first time. The boy in question was older than me, hence he was able to legally procure the half a dozen shitty coolers I was drunk on, and it was rumored […]Read more "What’s Really Behind “Middling Millennials”"
HOUSEWORK COERCION? Miss Madame approves! Dear Miss Madame, So, I have this problem that, ah, doesn’t really look like a problem. The deal is this: my boyfriend compliments me too much. How can this ever be a problem, you ask? Am I crazy? Maybe. But here’s the kicker. My man only […]Read more "Dear Miss Madame : Splitting Chores With Your Man? It’s a Dirty Job!"
LOST YOUR VIM FOR SELF-GROOMING? Miss Madame (and your mom-in-law!) helps you get your groove back! Dear Miss Madame, I have a touchy problem. My French mother-in-law simply refuses to stop asking me, “Tu vas te faire jolie?” This translates to, “Are you going to make yourself pretty?” It started the day […]Read more "Dear Miss Madame : Pretty? Yes You CAN!"
THERE’S A HEN COME TO ROOST! Miss Madame to the rescue–toute de suite. Dear Miss Madame, After years of working my way through the ranks, I’ve been appointed coach of a men’s Ligue 2 French football team. In France, I am the first woman, ever, to coach in the men’s professional league. There’s […]Read more "Dear Miss Madame : Exile in Roosterville"
It’s all about confidence, they said. You have to have as much chutzpah as all those dudes who self-publish poem after poem about road kill and baseball, girls, their fathers, chess, sailing, yeats’ gyre and bukowski’s pocked face. I was bold to write aloud before three teachers said they liked my poems. I got excited […]Read more "My Life As a Published Man"
Kate Bonn handled her first shotgun at the tender age of 10. Her father, a gun owner, felt it would be prudent to teach her gun safety through firsthand experience. He took her to his local gun club, handed her a .410-gauge shotgun, and taught her how to trap shoot—a form of clay target shooting […]Read more "A Girl and Her Gun"